"For God gave us not a spirit of fearfulness but of power, love, and discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7
Over the weekend, I had the chance to be with amazing and beautiful souls for a camp for girls. Camp Courage was the first camp that I joined without anyone forcing me or asking me to take part of it. At first, I was hesitant and quite nervous about it. I am a bit of an introvert (teehee! :3) and I find it really hard to build friendships with new people. That was what I was stressing about days before the camp. But I still pushed through with it and it has let me see things in an entirely different perspective.
You see, I’ve been going through life aimlessly. I always thought that I can do everything on my own; that I don’t need some divine power to get me through life’s circumstances. I’ve always chased the wrong things, and conformed to the standards of this world. Whenever I don’t reach that certain standard, I break down and think that I will never be enough. I gave emphasis on things that’s temporary, when I should have fixed my focus on things that are for eternity. I’ve looked for love in all the wrong places when I had someone who loved me unconditionally all along.
Yes. This is what I was doing with my life for the past years: breezing through time, doing and stressing over things that don’t matter, and living a life that doesn’t fulfill my true purpose. I was ashamed of the wrong things I’ve done that I grew even more distant from Him than ever, thinking that “I’ve done so many mistakes. I don’t deserve Him in my life”. And yet, despite all this, He remains to be faithful. He has always been there for me, I was just too distracted with worldly things to notice. He still pursues me no matter how far I distance myself from Him. That, ladies and gentlemen, is true love.
I find it a bit hard to believe that I’m saying these things now, but I think this isn’t me typing. This is Him communicating His message through me. It really took me a while and a great amount of courage to stop running and surrender to Him. I’ve been told that living a life that will fulfill His plan is not going to be easy, but it definitely is going to be worth it.
My heart is overwhelmed with so much happiness knowing that I’ve shared the start of this journey with other girls who are as courageous to live for His purpose, as me.
I’ve been lost, but now I am found. Cliche as it may seem but nevertheless, it is true.